halloween jokes

Why did Dracula take medicine?
To stop his coffin.

Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers.

How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
With scare spray...

What is a vampires favortie mode of transportation?
A blood vessel.

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.

Where do ghosts go on vacation?
Lake Erie

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled
from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.

What do you get when you divide the circumference
of a pumpkin by its radius?
Pumpkin pi.

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casketball.

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He had no guts.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend

What's Dracula's favorite flavor of ice cream?
Vein-illa.

How do ghosts begin their letters?
Tomb it may concern.

Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when
they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They're so wrapped up in themselves...

What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
Zombeef.

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up
payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
He had no body to dance with.

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich.

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart.

Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up.

Why did the baby vampire wake up screaming?
He had bite-mares.

Why did the vampire give his girlfriend a blood test?
To see if she was his type

Why did the Vampire subscribe to the Wall Street Journal?
He heard it had great circulation.

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!